Many of these children may find themselves labeled - “the students who survived the bus accident” - an involuntary star in their constalation. Of course, one way or another everyone is labaled something, at some point in their life, but something so disconnected from who you are as a person can be more challenging to accept or take in stride.

My mother was a teacher in my middle school, and I can still remember being targeted over decisions she made, good or bad. It took me awhile to recognize that I wasn’t going to “lose” her - I looked like her, I spoke like her, everyone knew I was her daughter. She was part of my constellation whether I accepted it or not. So I made the decision (first) to fight her, and (thankfully, eventually) to be proud of her, stand by her, regardless of what other student announced, “Marli’s mom gave me detention.”

Sounds like your star certainly changed your life!

Great thoughts and questions! I’ve been pondering this all weekend, after reading your post.

I think how such an event affects the childrens’ North Stars might depend on several factors… such as how they perceive the event and the world around them (i.e. is the child a “cup half full” person who focuses on the rescue and how lucky he or her was, or is the child a “cup half empty” person and focuses on the traggedy and “why did this happen to ME?”)… as well as the messages they receive from their family, friends and others around them. Maybe one child will forever be terrified to cross bridges, while another will grow up to be an engineer who is dedicated to building better bridges.

But yes, whatever their future holds, I’m sure the event will have an affect on their North Stars in some way. It will certainly be a star in their constellations, whether it ends up being a small star, or a big star… it will an event that will help shape who they are as people. The caregivers in their lives… at home, in school, and their community at large… will have a great impact in how those children make sense of the tragedy and their rescue… and how they move ahead.

Iagree that it’s that teachers can also be impacted by a specific event… that an event can change everything… how we perceive ourselves, and our lives, how we move forward on the course of our journeys. I think this is true of all humans.

I’ll share one childhood event that moved my North Star… and that was my parents’ divorce. In the course of my parents’ divorce, I remember thinking that I wanted to be a grown-up who listened to children and their feelings, and this was because I was was not feeling heard… and my feelings were not being taken seriously (because I was only a child). I had no idea what a “counselor” was at the time, not to mention a school counselor (or guidance counselor), yet… here I am… an elementary school counselor. A grown-up who listens to children, and their feelings.

As difficult as my parents’ divorce was for me, it was a star in my constellation, and one that definitely shaped the course of my journey, and moved my North Star to this very rewarding, fulfilling place.